5 Responses

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1. Jack Robert Fixx says

   Joshua Harris is not a doctor, a therapist or an expert in the field of sexuality. He is, however, a self-proclaimed born again Christian. (Like I always say, born agains are worse the second time around.) Born again Christians cherry pick what they want to use from the Bible and leave the rest. They interpret it literally. They, for some reason, believe that this tired old book was literally written by God himself. They also believe that God has a problem with sex, even though God is supposedly the one who invented it. (And did anybody ever read anything in Genesis about Adam and Eve being married? I didn’t think so. Yet, they were big fans of the bigger bangfest, were they not?) Joshua Harris is a neurotic who is not qualified to dispense advice about anyone’s sexuality, much less bore us with details of his own. In short, he’s an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
   Rating: 1 / 5

   May 7, 2010, 1:21 pm
2. J. Lin says

   People who criticized Harris’ book as being absurd toward dating has either fallen into the secular world of dating influenced by the media or just been totally ignorant to listen. Many of these critics talk of listening to his ideas, but basically what they’re doing is being closeminded. They look towards the book to justify their own sinful actions. And when the book actually do call them out, they become defensive and attack Harris’ views. Also, Harris NEVER implies that dating is a sin or wrong, in fact he says its a gift from God. You ignorant fools..arghh. He just says people get into the dating game for the wrong reasons. Selfish reasons. Of course mainstream dating has succeded before, but this book is to offer people during dating something better. Some life lessons that they can apply, so they won’t have to regret some of the things that might committ during a relationship. … And some of you men (boys)talk of being righteous and pure minded around all your “girl” friends, please..you must have some ugly “girl” friends..well to be politically corret let’s use unattractive. Let’s admit guys, all of us are lustful creatures. FACT: EVERY MAN IS LUSTFUL. if you can’t admit that, you’re either in denial or something is very very wrong with you, some kind of hormonal imbalance. Anybody who would like to debate with me on his book are more than welcome to e-mail me. I’m right here.
   Rating: 5 / 5

   May 7, 2010, 2:52 pm
3. John R. Webster says

   Books like this are why the general public views Christianityas a system of legalistic rules that have little connection to thereality of human life.

   Let’s stipulate right away that the majority of opposite sex romantic relationships have wrong foundations. Too much emphasis is put on superficial characteristics, like raw physical beauty, popularity (among teenagers), etc. And most couples engage far too early in physical intimacy before an emotional connection has been established. This reduces the physical act of love to merely gratifying physical desires, rather than to deepening of the love bond.

   But I struggle with the conservative Christian insistence on total premarital chastity. Sex within marriage needs to be put in its proper context, but it is a very important part of the marital relationship. Think about it – sex, with its procreative and bonding functions, is what distinguishes marital relationships from the less intimate male/female friendships.

   Many Christians still subscribe to the anti-sex mentality that permeated most Christian churches until the last 20-30 years. Fortunately, many Christian pastors now understand that healthy sexuality is needed for most marriages to flourish. Conversely, an unsatisfactory sex life results in much marital misery, including many, many divorces and broken homes.

   Almost everyone believes that marriage partners should know each other well before deciding to get married. They should know each other’s values, interests, family backgrounds, etc. (most churches require premarital counseling before their pastors will perform marriage ceremonies).

   Isn’t it just as important to evaluate sexual compatibility when deciding on your lifemate? How else can anyone determine compatibility unless they are sexually intimate with their partner?

   I know that my comments will provoke outraged responses on this board, so let me make some things clear. Teenagers should not have sex; they are not emotionally ready for the consequences of sex, both good and bad. Adults should not casually have sex with multiple partners just to see who does it best (an empty activity that drains sex of its greatest satisfaction – bonding phyically and emotionally with someone you love).

   Talk to any counselor or pastor you know about how sexual problems can destroy marriages, and you’ll get an earful. And these problems aren’t solved just by praying about them (a close friend who is a Baptist minister told me he does almost no marital counseling for his congregation; he refers couples to trained therapists with far greater expertise than most pastors).

   My wife and I had sex before we were married (we both have only had one partner, each other). I wasn’t a Christian then. But I still have never seen premarital sex explicitly forbidden (unlike adultery and prostitution) in the New Testament. In light of modern knowledge about the role sex plays in relationships, could it be that Christianity’s historical aversion to premarital sex was based on first century cultural factors, rather than on express commands from God?
   Rating: 2 / 5

   May 7, 2010, 3:14 pm
4. R. Fake says

   I do not believe that Christians should only date Christians, that would be inbreeding! I don’t agree with most of his ideas; they seem too bigoted and supremist. And I think that that is wrong. God would not want you to shun other people b/c they aren’t Christian.
   Rating: 2 / 5

   May 7, 2010, 5:46 pm
5. Anonymous says

   well i read this book back in the summer after my ex girlfriend dumped me because of…..i would just like to say that this book is very bad in that it contradicts itself throughout.

   You have the right to an opinion yes but i think that the way that josh(the relationship destroyer)harris presented it was completely wrong and ment to hurt more than to heal. From what i gathered from it, i was belittled, disturbed,and outright pissed off because of how i felt from its words.. Basically this book states that dating as a young person is wrong and harmful for your health, but i think its the other way around but i guess that joshua(the explayer that got caught) harris had a bad experience while with a girl and ruined it for the rest of us that are attracted to christian women…..sorry that you messed up…i guess you got your way though, congrats she’s all yours now
   Rating: 1 / 5

   May 7, 2010, 7:34 pm