- ISBN13: 9781600940736
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
Are you the victim of a chronic anger, verbal or emotional abuse? Do you constantly second-guess your thoughts and behavior to avoid being hurt or put down by your husband or boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship, you can end the abuse and rebuild a loving, compassionate environment for you and your family. In Love Without Hurt, psychotherapist Dr. Steven Stosny explains the many forms of verbally and emotionally … More >>
This book is written along with 99% of self help books that focuses on the male as the abusive partner. It is as if we live in a society where very rarely the women is the perpetrator of physical and verbal abuse. This of course, plays into politics and womens liberation, whereas it is almost as if they are entitled to act this way. I would imagine that there is a rather large percent of women abusers in today’s civilization. In a society where single parents, mostly women, are the caretakers, there must be a very strong pattern developing in the present and the future. The book is an answer to prayers where it does in fact focus on significant issues. It is not the simplest read, it is written with the self help confusing format.
Shame on Stosny for not focusing on women as the perpetrators. I did not read the entire book cover to cover, but I only found one example.
Rating: 2 / 5
I agree with the reviewer below. This entire book is geared towards the male abuser and says very little to nothing about the female abuser. It is very unfortunate because there are men out there trapped in abusive relationships, but you would never know it from reading this book!
Rating: 1 / 5
I read the first half and I spoke with my husband about the second half. He did decide to read it; especially considering the next step is counseling. Why do counseling if you don’t have to!
He was still confused about how to talk to me when something is really out of hand like the credit card. He doesn’t understand how to exercise compassion, yet let me know that it is a serious matter. I have the credit card and he doesn’t have control over that. He thinks I spend too much on groceries and gas (800-900 dollars each month for a rural area + I go to college 45 min away). I have no way of knowing if this is reasonable.
Since we were able to talk about a lot of ideas in the book together it significantly helped him. Since he only read it yesterday, only time will tell now how it worked. He didn’t do the exercises in writing; but I think he did them in his head. He felt horrible after reading it; and it’s a good thing he realizes what it does to me. I will be sure to complement him on his good attributes. He felt like some of it went over his head because of the psychology lingo; but I am going to read it and see if he has any questions. It helps that I have a psychology background.
He looked over my exercises also and this opened his eyes as well.
Rating: 4 / 5
this book is good because it focuses on the soulution to the problem without really making anyone feel bad in the process. It is a very non-threatening approach for the abuser and very helpful for the person being abused. Very positive book. Some of the exercises seemed repetitive and some concepts sounded really complex and just need to be simplified. I learned alot from this book and would recommend it to a friend.
Rating: 4 / 5
Although this book assumes that the male is the resentful, angry person in the relationship, it can still provide a useful guide for having more compassion. It may not be the right text in every situation, but the accurate blurb should guide a reader to make that decision. Whether the main tool called ‘HEALS’ works well or at all, I have yet to find out, as it takes a very stressful situation to put that into practise, and so anyone who’s already broken up from their relationship should probably keep this book close-by in case of future emergencies! The core assertion, that instead of getting angry, you should stop and think, identify your core hurt, think of the other persons point of view, reconnect with your core values and then calmly try to solve the problem to mutual satisfaction is hard to argue with – it’s kind of common sense. The book also covers not losing yourself in a relationship, as being more fully yourself essentially makes you a more attractive person, which is also the core teaching of many of the relationship help tools around. The keyword for this book is COMPASSION which is how I located it.
Rating: 4 / 5