- ISBN13: 9780060956165
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when: We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won’t apologize or be accountable. We don’t know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate. We feel worn down by the other person’s criticism, negativity, or irresponsible… More >>
And of course I believe everyone can benefit by learning “emotional intellectualism” and how to “fight fair”–just for their own personal evolution, etc. –However, I also know from bitter personal experience, that one can reach out, send hugs, letters, gifts, cards, calls, not expect (nor even desire) an apology from someone who really is at fault, really has hurt and/or betrayed you in some way–and all you want to say is “ouch, please don’t do “x” cause it hurts me”–only to find that no amount of logic, love, communication and/or caring can make that other human care and/or reciprocrate–or even listen to one for that matter–but the worst is when this even includes ones’ closest and most intimate blood relatives. The deepest cut is when the person you’re attempting to reach is your own supposedly superior, intellegent, PhD-educated, IBM veteran father and your three grown (all 30-50 year old) college educated, professional, so-called “successful” brothers.
But each and every effort on my part to communicate (so far anyway–5 years now–but “never say never” I guess–but let’s face it–it’s going to be “never”–My own mom died when I was 7 and there’s no one to support or take my side now) has met with either NO response (best scenario), or else my letters/gifts returned by the PostMan, unopened and marked “refused by sender” (a little worse)–or (worst case scenario) you get horrible ranting hostile personal attacking email, or phone call which attacks you personally as being “unfit” or “bad” human deserving of nothing good–and completely failing to address the hurt one had originally mentioned, and attempted to resolve–just adding a myriad of new painful hostilie attacks on one instead. I never believed one’s own father could choose his ego/pride over his only daughter’s heart and soul–but I was wrong. I am a living example that sometimes…”sh-t happens.” And you cannot stop it. Unfair “sh-t” happens and you’re powerless to prevent and/or resolve it. A relationship involves 2 people. 1 person cannot fix it. No matter how hard she might try or desire it otherwise. And that is a pain I hope no one else (although I’m sure there must be some) has to share with me.
Just a word to the “wise…” (and/or “ignorant”–as the case may be)
Thanks! And don’t stop trying anyway, ok? Shalom, to all my human brothers and sisters–all human siblings everywhere…
Rating: 3 / 5
The title of this book is very intriguing and the subject of learning how to improve communication skills when things are rough is very compelling. I was astonished and very dissapointed with the author’s approach – so much so, that I was not able to make it past page 35. I would not have made the expenditure had I known that the author created a platform for her philosophy of relationships. Had that been my interest at the time, there are far more interesting treatises on the subject. I rate this book as a 1 because there isn’t a lower number.
Rating: 1 / 5
A Wonderful insite to relationships!
Easy read! Helpful in understanding relative difficulties.
Rating: 5 / 5
Haven’t read this one yet but love the other books I’ve read by the author. She’s a great help in understanding the dances we participate in with others and the outcomes from the way we dance.
Rating: 5 / 5
book in excellent conditions, great quality and delivery! one of the best books I’ve read, highly recommended for everyone in the search of wellness in all relationships
Rating: 5 / 5